OK, it’s just a fantasy. But did you see Jordan’s reaction when Jay Leno asked him in a televised interview the other night (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5osJ8-NttnU&feature=player_embedded#) if he could still dunk?
“Can I still dunk?” Jordan asked in disbelief. “Are you stupid?”
I saw my suspicion confirmed in that moment. Jordan has been burning to show people that he can still play. He’s mentioned it in recent interviews. It’s on his mind.
Tell him he can’t do something and he’s gonna prove he can.
He lives for stuff just like that. All that junk about Jordan no longer able to cup the ball because he damaged his hand with a cigar cutter? Mentioning that amounts to merely dangling a red hankie in front of the ultimate Bull.
He wanted to make it clear to Leno’s NBC audience that he could still palm the ball.
“I’m old. I’m not lame,” he protested. “I can still jump. I can still palm a basketball. Yeah, I can still dunk. Are you kidding me?”
“You’re getting testy,” Leno interjected as the audience howled.
“Yeah. I am testy,” Jordan said. “That’s a dumb question.”
He has threatened recently, as he nears his 47th birthday, to shock the world by returning to pro basketball.
Jordan knows that even at his advanced age, he’s still better than 99 percent of the grocery clerks getting paid to play in today’s NBA. Shit, Vince Carter’s out there, isn’t he? Hell, MJ can do that.
OK, it’s true. He’d be back a week and regret it like hell. Every time he turned the ball over, he’d hear a chorus about how he’s ruining his legacy. He’s heard it all before. Let’s remember. This is a guy who has “retired” twice before.
People are going to talk.
Screw all that. Life is for living. Wilt Chamberlain could have come back and played at age 50. He never did. Look where it got him. Jordan has already proved that there’s an NBA life past 35. Why not do the same for 45?
Yes, I know. Forty-five is the last hurrah. It really does go down hill quickly from there.
But what about Pudge Heffilfinger? Old Pudge is lionized as the first professional football player, the first guy to make money for playing the game. Pudge played till he was 60.
C’mon, Mike. You gonna be outdone by a guy named Pudge?
Let’s say for a truly weird second that MJ does decide to play again. What’s the best team for him to do it?
That’s easy. The Lakers
They got Phil. They got the Triangle offense. They got Kobe.
It all just might add up to another ring.
Besides, MJ learned his lesson with the Washington Wizards. You can’t scale heights with mental midgets.
Come back with what you know well. He revealed to me in an interview last year that he watches Kobe and the Lakers closely, is intrigued by them. They mirror the NBA life he once lived with Jackson and the Bulls in the 1990s while winning six titles.
He told me he admires Kobe, admires his work ethic. And Jordan is close to the Lakers guard.
When I later mentioned my conversation with MJ to Kobe, his eyes and ears perked up like a kid at Christmas. MJ was talkin’ about me?
OK, so what have I been smoking to even bring up something like this? It’s just fantasy musings? So what?
Crazier things have happened in this effed-up world.
Yes, there would be all kinds of questions.
Would MJ try to do too much? Puh-leeze. Of course, he would. It wouldn’t be any fun if he didn’t.
Would Kobe defer too much? Yeah, right.
But the questions, the intrigue, that’s all part of the huge blast it would be.
And the audience?
Every Baby Boomer on the planet would tune in to watch the geezer sky walking again.
And there’s the issue of Jackson. Getting him to make the overture to MJ would be key.
(C’mon, Phil, get off that high-ass throne of yours and open the door to pure fantasy. Hollywood would love ya for it. Your closest associates always worry about keeping you from getting bored with the whole process. So what do you have to lose? You got your 10 rings.)
MJ joining the Lakers? That would break every fun meter ever made.
Yes, I repeat again, I know this is just strange, weird smoke rings. Pure fantasy.
But I have only one request from MJ.
Please? Please, baby, please. Please, please, please.
Give in to those urges.
I know they’re killing you.
Screw bad judgment.
Screw the better angels of your nature sitting on your shoulder telling you not to do it.
Screw pride.
Screw the fact that Phil left you hangin’ in the lurch back there in ‘98.
Throw care to the wind.
Better yet, MJ. Here’s what I have to say about it.
You can’t do it.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah.
You’re too old, brother. Can’t dunk. Can’t play.
YOU CANNOT DO IT.
There, that just might work.
Roland Lazenby is the author of Jerry West, The Life And Legend Of A Basketball Icon, set to be released by Random House/ESPN in February.
